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Introduction: Meet the Agents

Disclaimer: I’m just gonna throw it out there, I don’t own the concept of the PPC, that honor belongs to the great Jay and Acacia. I do own my own agents, though. (But not the brief song clip, “No More Sorrow” by Linkin Park.)

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“Let’s see… Response Center 113… 113… Damn it, why do all of these hallways look alike?”

Agent Keats glanced down at the slip of paper in his hand, then at the long gray halls, shifting the box under his arm so he could get a better grip on it.

“Now what did they tell me? I just have to not think about it?” He paused for a moment, “What does that mean?” Keats glanced about the long gray halls, feeling his ponytail brush against his neck as he did.

Hard to think something so simple could mean so much…

Keats’ thoughts drifted back to when he had first arrived, a former Renegade from the Tales of Symphonia continuum. As a Bit Character with no name and barely any appearance to speak of, he had fallen through a Plot Hole after being attacked by what he now knew to be a Mary Sue.
Lost and confused, Keats had ended up running through the base eventually running into the biggest sunflower he’d ever seen (as far as he knew, anyway.). The… sunflower was able to talk him out of turning him/her/it/whatever into mulch, and only then did it occur to him that he had no name, no real appearance underneath the helmet, no identity whatsoever.

With nowhere to go, he’d reluctantly signed up to join this…Protectors of the Plot Continuum thing. In return, they had given him a name and an appearance, as well as training and knowledge of his situation, though finding out that he was only part of a fictional series (and not part of the continuum itself, even!) was an unpleasant shock for him.

Once that had worn off, though, he’d thrown himself into training, and, after much work, finally managed to become an agent. Now he was on his way to his Response Center, if he could only find it, that is…

Then he stopped, blinking in surprise. In front of him was a door, barely distinguishable from the walls around it, save for a hand-made sign proclaiming “RC 113”. Beyond the door, he could hear someone singing, and not all that well, either.

“Guess this is the place…”

Taking a moment to readjust the box under his arm, and to put the slip of paper away, he cautiously lifted a hand and knocked.

—–

Meanwhile, the sole occupant of the room was currently in the process of putting a poster up on the wall. As she did, she was singing along to the mp3 player in her pocket, music blasting through her earphones.

“Noooo, no more sor-row, I’ve paid for your mis-takes, youuurrr time is bor-ro-wed, your time has come to be e-rassseedd…”

The newly-minted Agent Gijinka stepped back to examine her handiwork, hands on her hips.

“Perfect!” Just then there came a knock at the door, and she spun around, pulling out the earphones as she did. “Come in!”

After a moment, the door opened and a young man stepped in, giving Gijinka a first glimpse of her new partner. He was fairly tall, with lightly-tanned skin and sharp hazel eyes, and wore a black t-shirt and jeans, the usual outfit of a PPC agent. But what really got her attention was the scar across his nose, the slightly pointed ears, and the fact that his hair was bright scarlet and tied back in a short ponytail.

Along with the cardboard box under one arm, he had a black satchel over across one shoulder and a large broadsword strapped across his back.

At the same time, Keats examined his new partner. She looked to be about 20 or so, slightly heavy-set with glasses and short brown hair. She wore jeans and a t-shirt as well, though her shirt bore the legend “I like my digital life so much better than my stupid real life”.

He also took a moment to regard his new Response Center. The room looked fairly small at first glance, but that was probably because there was so much stuff crammed into it. For starters, there was a console in one corner, and what looked to be a food replicator next to a small fridge. Against a back wall was a bookshelf fully stocked with a variety of literature with a few beanbag chairs set in front. At one end of the room were two neatly-made cots, one was presumably his, the other had a few plushies by the pillow and a black steamer trunk beneath it. Finally, there were two other doors, one marked “Bathroom” and the other “Closet”. To add to the decor, Gijinka had put up posters all around the room, ranging from various bands and fantasy images, to films and anime, and even one of Jay and Acacia, the PPC’s most celebrated agents.

“So, uh, you’re my new partner, right?” Gijinka asked after a moment.

“Huh? Oh, right. My name’s Keats.” The young man said, holding out one hand. “And you are…?”

“Agent Gijinka,” the other Agent responded, taking his hand and shaking it. Keats offhandedly noted that her hands were smudged with ink stains. “Nice to meet you. Iit’s not my real name,” Gijinka added, noting his questioning expression. “It’s from my fan fiction-writing moniker, back when I wrote fan fics. I still do, though, but not as often as I used to, I mean, I wanna improve before I get back to that. But I joined the PPC ‘cause I was sick of seeing all the Mary Sues and whatnot…”

Keats held up his hand as if to protect himself against her rambling. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

Gijinka blinked. “So, where’re you from?”

The other Agent fell silent for a moment, almost looking lost in thought as he tried to figure out what to say. “Well… I came from a Tales of Symphonia Suefic, but I don’t remember too much about it, being a former Bit Character and all.” He shrugged helplessly. “Sorry, that’s all I can tell you.”

Keats noted that her expression was blank for a moment as if she was talking in what he was telling her… then suddenly she seemed to explode with excitement, the words falling from her mouth in a rush.

“Oh WOW! You’re from the Tales of Symphonia ‘verse! Awesome! Have you ever met any of the characters? Do Apple Gels really taste like apples? Hey, did anyone ever tell you your hair makes you kinda look like Zelos?”

Keats blinked. “Er… no, not really.” Mentally, he sighed. Great, just great. Of all the partners in the whole PPC, I get stuck with the crazy fangirl. Out loud, he said, “Look, if we’re gonna be partners, you’ll have to keep the fangirling down to a minimum.”

The girl frowned, crossing her arms across her front. “I make no promises.”

The Half-Elven agent just looked at her, unsure what to make of this comment. Then he and put the box he was carrying down on his cot, sitting down beside it.

“Well, with that unpleasantness out of the way,“ he said, wanting to start unpacking as soon as possible and put this conversation out of his mind, “I guess I’d better settle in before I get any more-”

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP!!]

“-Surprises.”

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PPC Agents

Name: Agent Gijinka
Appearance: About 5’2, slightly hefty, short brown hair, blue eyes, wears glasses
Race: Human
Home Continuum: Earth-1
Department: Floaters
Response Center: 113
Partner: Agent Keats
Fandoms: Doctor Who, Yu-Gi-Oh, Tales of Symphonia, Kingdom Hearts, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Wicked, Red Vs Blue, Redwall, Harry Potter, Digimon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, TGWTG, Marvel/DC, Scott Pilgrim, Axis Powers Hetalia, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pokemon, District 9
Lust Objects: The 10th Doctor (Doctor Who), Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII), Tommy Oliver (Power Rangers), Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean), Legolas (Lord of the Rings), Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach), Regal Bryant (Tales of Symphonia), Jacob Black (Twilight), Germany (Axis Powers Hetalia)
Likes: Reading, writing, drawing, killing Sues, Cute Things, listening to music, quoting fictional series, sleeping, good fan fiction, happy endings, transformations
Dislikes: Mary Sues, anything rape-related, Fan Dumb, unfair character bashing, child abuse, Twilight, tweenies/fan brats, close-minded people, zombies, misogynists, when series she likes are screwed with.
Weapons: She isn’t really picky, and likes to get… “creative” with her kills.
Bio: Gijinka is somewhat of a mixed bag, personality-wise. On the one hand, she is generally cheerful, easy-going, laid back, and at times, downright immature. However, she also can be bad-tempered, impatient, sarcastic and cynical with a sardonic sense of humor. Gijinka is open-minded with a strong sense of justice, and absolutely hates it when things she likes are messed with. Gijinka has a weakness for cute things, a tendency to ramble when she’s excited, as well as a transformation fetish that she’s a bit embarrassed about.

Name: Agent Keats
Appearance: About 5’8, lightly tanned skin with a scar across his nose, longish red hair, hazel eyes
Race: Half-Elf
Home Continuum: Tales of Symphonia
Department: Floaters
Response Center: 113
Partner: Agent Gijinka
Fandoms: Power Rangers, Generator Rex, Tales of Symphonia, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Pirates of the Caribbean, Kingdom Hearts, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, NCIS, Fight Club, Cowboy Bebop, Resident Evil, South Park, Gorillaz, Gargoyles, Redwall, Firefly, Death Note, District 9
Lust Objects: Sheena Fujibayashi (Tales of Symphonia), Judith (Tales of Vesperia), Tifa Lockhart (Final Fantasy VII), Ada Wong (Resident Evil), Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Ziva David (NCIS)
Likes: Martial arts, killing Sues, listening to music (he prefers classic rock, heavy metal and alternative), martial arts/horror films, girls who kick ass, reading, video games
Dislikes: Being mistaken for an elf, Mary Sues, anything rape-related, Fan Dumb, unfair character bashing, child abuse, Twilight, tweenies/fan brats, heights, spiders
Weapons: A double-handed broadsword, but will use guns if he needs to; he also has picked up a few basic spells (Fireball, Stalagmite, Wind Blade, Aqua Edge, First Aid), but tends to use them sparingly.
Bio: Keats is an former nameless Renegade from the Tales of Symphonia continuum who fell through a plot hole and into HQ after a particularly bad bit of Suefic logic. After some confusion, he reluctantly resigned joined the PPC, though he did take an interest in some of the other continuums he picked up in training. The more level-headed of the two, Keats is often the one who has to restrain his partner when she flies into her rages. Keats is rather snarky and has a wicked sense of humor, as well as a soft side that prefers not to show. In his free time, Keats likes reading, listening to music, and either playing video games or watching movies. He occasionally smokes Blepettes and while his preferred profanity comes from his Home Continuum ( for instance, using ‘Goddess’ instead of ‘God’- long story there), he has also gleaned some Mandarin from watching Firefly (it might not be totally correct, but he enjoys how it sounds).

Hello world!

Hello, this is my first blog, in which I’ll be posting missions for the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, a group dedicated to eradicating bad fanfiction.

If that’s not your cup of tea, turn back now.

But if you hate bad fanfiction and want to see them eradicated, then welcome.